In God's Hands

Dear Family,


Well it was good to hear your voices yesterday. Although, I say this with as much love as I can muster, I hope I never talk to you again on the phone until I'm home. :) I was thinking the other day about all the many things that have happened to our family in the last 13 months... its insane. Yet, every single time the Lord has taken care of us one at a time, and all has been in His loving hand. Today's been an okay day. I'm just REALLY really tired. We went out to do our morning exercise and I walked two blocks down the road and came back and slept for two hours straight :) (Good things its our Preparation Day). I'm hoping with the added rest that today will help me get back up to full health. I still have the occasional convulsion but luckily I have a great companion who knows what to do and how to help me. So I'm on the mend. Slowly but surely, I am going to be able to finish my mission the way I want it to.

I'll just share with you a lot of what I learned this week about people, and about my Heavenly Father. This has probably been one of the scariest things that has ever happened to me and it was just because I wasn't in control of anything that my body was doing. When the paramedics came to get me at the Joseph Smith Farm, I was fairly out of it but I knew enough to know that I was at the mercy of these two men who were putting me onto a gurney and that there was something that was seriously wrong with my body. When they stuck me in the back of the ambulance they tied my arms and legs down, and were pricking things into me, and yelling out code words to each other. It all started to become really frightening. I was looking around for anyone I knew, I couldn't find my companion, (Sister Chatterton was already sitting in the front), and Sister Nielsen (the Senior Couple) wasn't there, Mom wasn't anywhere. I just wanted someone to be there to hold my hand. So as I lay there, my body shaking uncontrollably, the only name I could utter, underneath my oxygen mask, was "God?" Right when His name slipped out of my mouth He was there. I'm pretty sure He was there before I even said His name out loud but it was as if He slipped in right beside me and grabbed my hand so I wouldn't be afraid. It helped the fear subside to a degree. And I don't mean to tell that story to make Mom sad (because I know she probably wishes she could have been there), I tell you all that story because I know there is a Heavenly Father that is out there that cares about us. It was amazing to just feel Him slip so easily and naturally into His role as parent. I know He wanted that time alone in the back of the ambulance together, so He could remind me of how much He loved me. I could just feel Him treasuring the time to just take care of one of His children in need. He loves us, it was so evident to me in that hour ride to the hospital. Even after we arrived at Strong Memorial Hospital His spirit never left, He sent His other children to act as angels for me. The whole rest of the day and night there wasn't a moment where someone else wasn't holding my hand. It was never free :).

So, like I usually end most of my emails, all is well. All of these experiences are just to bring us closer to our eternal Father and His loving Son. My body's pretty sore and tired. I'm able to sleep a lot though which is good. I just hope that all my strength can come back soon. Thank you for your prayers, thank everyone for their prayers. I have sure felt sustained through them. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow in the afternoon, but I'm sure they probably won't have much to say to me, just like every other doctor. Pseudo-seizures are normal right? :) The convulsions have gone down drastically though, I have more strength over my body now. Its just taking it one step at a time.

I love you family. I love this gospel. I love being a missionary. Please don't worry about me, I'm doing fine.

Love always,

Sister Carter